non veg jokes sexy jokes dirty jokes

lovers went 2 film, a mosquito enters in girl's skirt..Guess where it bites?Naughty mind always thinking badIt bites on BOY'S HAND..

http://sexydirtysms.blogspot.in/
A famous sex therapist was once asked: "Doctor, why do men always want to marry a VIRGIN"? 
Sex Therapist: "TO AVOID CRITICISM AND COMPARISON.."
http://sexydirtysms.blogspot.in/
AIDS AWARENESS:"Try different positions with d same woman instead of same position with different women.

http://sexydirtysms.blogspot.in/
Doodhwala Lagataar Ek Aurat Ki Door-Bell
Baja Raha Tha.

Aurat Naha Rahi Thi So Onnchi Awaaj Mein
Gusse Se Boli:

“Bhaiya Kitna Dabaoge, Ab Bas Bhi
Karo, Tumse Achchha Toh Paperwala Hai, Jo
Chup-Chaap Neeche Se Daal Deta Hai“ :

http://sexydirtysms.blogspot.in/



Ek Aurat Ki Teen Ladkiya ThhiAur Teeno Ki Ek Hi Din Shadi Hui.
Maa Ne Ladkiyo Ko Kaha Ki Tum Mujhe SMS Kar Dena Ki Kahan Ho Aur
Honeymoon Kesa Chal Raha Hai.
Kuch Din Baad Pehli Ladki Ka SMS Aya: “Nescafe”
Maa Ko Samajh Na Aya Ki Iska Kya Matlab Hai.. Sham KoVo Tv Dekh Rahi Thi
To Uspar Ad Aa Rahi Thhi. Nescafe – Good Till The Last Drop. Maa Khush Ho Gayi
Doosri Beti Ka SMS Aya: “Benson &Hedges”
Maa Ne Fir Tv Dekha Usmein Iska Slogan Tha: “King Size , Extra Long.”
Teesri Ladki Ka SMS Aya: “British Airways”
Maa Confuse Hui Par Fir Usne Tv Mein Ad Dekhi: “3 Times Daily, 7 Days A
Week, Both Ways.” Bechari Maa Sharam Se Paani Paani Ho Gayi


http://sexydirtysms.blogspot.in/

Ek husband wife ne sex ka code rakha ''phone karna hai '

' Pati - beta mammy se kaho papa ko urgent phone karna hai 

Patni - papa ko bolo abhi phone nahi kar sakte network kharab hai thik hone me 4/5 din lagenge 

Pati - beta mammy ko bolo to papa public phone call kar lenge 

Patni - beta papa ko bolo khabardar aisa kiya to
mummy ghar par call centre khol legi...


http://sexydirtysms.blogspot.in/

Marzi Ka Sex Pap Nahi Hota..

Piche se Dalne Wala Kabhi Baap nahi Hota..

Condom Zarur Lagana Mere Dost

Qki..

Sex k Waqt POPAT Ke Pass Dimag nahi hota.

http://sexydirtysms.blogspot.in/

One lady: Did U Know Tht "Lions" have Sex 4 to 6 Times a Night ?
Second Lady: Damit..Pehle Bol Nahi Sakti Thi, I just Joined the "Rotary"!


http://sexydirtysms.blogspot.in/
Pati-Patni Blue Film Dekh Rahe Thhe, Achank Patni Ne Puccha...

Patni: “Aap Us Aadmi Ki Tarah Itni Jayada Der Tak
Kyyu Nahi Karte ?”

Pati: “Pagli Wo Uski Patni Nahi Hai Na, Tu Apni
Bahan Se Puchh Ke To Dekh.“

http://sexydirtysms.blogspot.in/
Q : Why do Doctors always advise Heart patients to have sex only with their own wife ? Ans : Because there is no risk of excitement...!


http://sexydirtysms.blogspot.in/
Recent sex survey report : 10% of girls say "b quick it pains" 10% Say "speed is not enough" & the rest 80% say "quick, my husband may come home anytime!"


http://sexydirtysms.blogspot.in/
Santa: In all AIDS ads, they talk of SAFE SEX.
What is SAFE SEX?
Banta: Oye, SAFE SEX is when wife is out of town!


http://sexydirtysms.blogspot.in/
here are 2 girls in heaven 
first girl: how did you die 
2nd girl: well i froze everything waz really cold but then it got warm how did u die 
first girl: well i was sure my husband was cheetin on me so i came home early from work one day and he was sittin on they coach watchin t.v. but i was so sure i ran around the house and checked inb closets and underbeds. then i had a heartattack 
2nd girl : well if you would have looked in the freezer we both would have been alive!!!!

http://sexydirtysms.blogspot.in/
There are two grandma's sitting on the front porch. They both pull out a cigarette and it begins to rain. One grandma pulls out a condom and sticks it on the end of her cigarette. The other asks were she could get one. The first grandma said any convenient store. so the next day the second grandma goes to the store and asks the clerk for a condom and he asks what size, she replies " big enough to fit a camel". the guy faints

http://sexydirtysms.blogspot.in/ Wife ko Yakin tha k HUSBAND ka Naukrani se See Relation hai!
.
Pkdne k liye Plan bnaya or
Naukrani ko Chupke se Chutti pe bhej diya .
Rat ko Pati Toilet gaya to.
.
Wife chupchap Naukrani k Bed pe ja k so gayi or Light off kar di .
Wo Silently room me aaya or Se3 karne laga
.
Sex k baad Wife boli -Tum Mujhe yaha dekh k Chakit honge na & Light on kar di
. .
Watchman bola-Are bap re Madam aap.! 

MORAL: Jo aurat jyada Smart banti hai wo aise hi ch...... hai


http://sexydirtysms.blogspot.in/
Pyaas Aadmi Ko Paagal Bana Deti Hai. Par Jab Janwar Pyase Ho Tab Wo Kya Karte Hai? Dekhe Is Picture Mein


Ek Bar Ek Bandiya Ke Naya Naya Bacha Hua Jise Vo Bada Pyar Karne Lag Gayi. Ye Dekh Kar Uska Bada Bacha Jealous Karne Lag Gaya. Ek Rat Jab Uski M


Santa Ne Ladkiyo Ke College Ke Chakkar Laga Laga Aakhir Ek Ladki Pata Hi Li. Kuch Time Dono Mein Idhar Udhar Ki Baatein Aur Dates Chalti Rahi. 

http://sexydirtysms.blogspot.in/

Nonveg Bonanza

Question - What Is Difference Between A BOOT (Shoes) & CHOOT.?
Zabardast Answer -
BOOT Accepts Only ONE Size, Whereas CHOOT Accepts ALL Sizes.. 


College Me, Mam-"
Lakir ka Fakir" Muhavare ka udhahran do"
Boy"
Aap Bura to Nahi Manegi?
Mam-
Nahi Bura Q?
Boy-Aapki Panty ke andar
jo Lakir he
Hum Uske fakir hai.. 

ek wife ko shadi k bahut salo baad pta lga k uska husband CHHAKKA h aur usko Plastic k Lund se chodta tha....wife- tumne itni bdi baat mujhse chhupai, tumne meri zindgi barbaad kr di.....
husband- baat ko aagey na badhao, maine itne salo me kbi puchha k BUNTY & BABBLI Plastic k Lund se kaise paida ho gye? ��

------------------------
Aaj kal ke bachho ki haramipanti :

MADAM : shor mat karo nahi to khadda kar dungi..

Bachhe:
pehele mera..
pehele mera..
pehele mera..
___http://sexydirtysms.blogspot.in/__________

Beta-Papa, Ye "Sex" kya hota hai ?

Santa thinks oye bahenchod ye kya puch liya bete ne, par batana to padega.

Aftr that he says- Beta, sex me hum ladki k kapde utarte hai fir apane kapde utarte hai, fir ladki ko pas me late hai uske boobs dabate hai fir vo hamara lund chusti hai, fir hum uski gand me ungal karte hai, fir tel laga k ladki ki chut me lund dal k hum lund ander bahar karte hue use chodte hai.

Ye hota hai sex.

Beta- Admission form me kya likhu? :D
_____________http://sexydirtysms.blogspot.in/

GIRLS put makeup, lots of creams , sexy perfumes & they make the best hairstyle EVER.
.
.
Finally guys look at them and say:
.
.
BHENCHOD GAAND DEKH SAALI KI .... :p !

__________

Boy: Tu kitne baje uthti hai?

Girl: Apna koi time nahi hai. Jab dil kare so jaati hoon, aur jab dil kare uth jaati hoon

Boy: Naughty! Tu bilkul mere LODE pe gayi hai.. :D

______________

Customer- bhai saheb dettol sabun hai?

Dukandaar (lauda khujlate huye)- haan hai.

Customer- to behen k lode, us se haath dho ke 1 kilo cheeni dede.

-----------------------------
TATA ko ab pata chala ki
NANO CAR Me 2 Problems hai..
1. Pregnant Woman andar nahi aa sakti.
And
2. Car ke andar Normal Woman Pregnant nahi ho sakti..! ;)
------------------------------
Doct.-Mareez ko Agar 1 ghanta pehle le aate to hum isey bacha lete.

SANTA-bhenchod, aadhe ghante pehle to acident hua, fir 1 ghanta pehle kya hospital gaand marvane laate?
-----------------------
Girl (During  sex): Nahi ye galat hai
Boy: But I Luv U
G: Fir b galat hai
B: Hum shaadi kar lenge
G: abe chutiye jahan daal raha hai, wo jagah galat hai..��
------------------------
Madam Ne English Period Mein Munni Se Puchha,
Madam: 'Translate This Sentence In Hindi - Pappu Gives Me 14 And 15 Rupees'
Munni Sharmate Hue: 'Mam, Pappu Ne Mujhe Choda Aur Pandra Rupaye Diye'

------------------------
Jale hue boobs lekar Sardarni hospital me admit hui
Dr: kaise jal gaye
Sardarni: KAMINE
Tune hi to kaha tha
Bacche ko dudh pilane se pehle
NIPPAL UBAL lena!

----++-----------------
Petrol Ke Badte Rate Ko Dekhte Hue Ek News Channel Walo Ne Report Di:
Aaj Ke Bad Petrol Pump Par Adult Movies Chala Karengi
Taki Aap Petrol Bharvate Hue Usi Time Pe Kisi Aur Ko Bhi Chudte Dekh Sako ......
-------------------------
Nawab Saab Kothe pe Gaye,
Dalte Hi Leak Ho Gaya.
Tawayaf Adab Se Boli-
Huzur Ne Q Taklif Uthai.??
Chammach Me Nikal K
Bhijwa Diya Hota,
Hum Izzat Se Andar Daal Lete....����

Classic misunderstanding....

Boy: Hey, Happy Birthday!

Girl: ThankZ!

Boy: So, BP kab de rhi h? 

Girl: Pendrive toh de.... ��

Boy: Arre , I mean Birthday Party.... 

Girl: *speechless*



---------------------------------------------

A man died due to excessive masturbation.

He later got spermveer chakra..



---------------------------------------------

Boy: I love you

Girl: I love you too

Boy: Muh mei legi?

Girl: Badtameez,harami,go to hell

Boy: Bas Mujhe aisi sanskaari ladki hi chahiye thi����

---------------------------------------------

Earlier, I tweet..

"I need a man to fill the hole in my heart", and no one replies..

Later I tried again by taking out the

"in my heart" part..

and Now I'm Busy Blocking the assholes.. ����

---------------------------------------------

Teen BB Jinko Saari Duniya Chutiya Kahti H 

1- BlackBerry

2 - Bilawal Bhutto

3 - Big Boss

��������

Once a Girl asked an engineer,

"Why we have units to measure

Weight,

Height,

Length,

Money,etc.

But nothing to measure

Love,

Trust,

Friendship.

Why?

Why?

Why?

The engineer thought for a while,

took her in his arms,

looking in her deep eyes and said

"Dekh lavdi

already mujhe 3 subject me back hai,

ghar pe gaand lagi padi hai

ab Tu aur dimaag ka bhosda mat kar..

aur itna he naapne ka man kar raha hai toh lavda naap mera..

#Dirty_post

Q."what does the woman said before the start of the sex?"

"aandolan" :p

---------------------------------------------

कुछ तो बाकी है तेरे मेरे दरमियाँ एह जानेमन,

यों ही नही तेरी याद में मेरा लंड खड़ा हो जाता है  ������☺️��

---------------------------------------------

Guys who are selfie addicted like girls

Do you also get periods?

---------------------------------------------

प्यार इश्क मोहब्बत

.

.

.

.

..

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

 ये अच्छे खासे इंसान को चुतिया बना देता है इनसे जितना दूर रहो खुश रहोगे ����

-----------------------------------------------

ज़रूरी नही है की किसी को नापसंद करने की कोई वजह हो...

कुछ भोसडीके पैदा ही होते है गालिया खाने के लिए।

LOL has Three Meanings :-

For Normal people - Laugh out loud 

For Lovers :- Lots of Love 

For Me : Lauda or lehsun ��

Ek Bar Ek Bandiya Ke Naya Naya Bacha Hua Jise Vo Bada Pyar Karne Lag Gayi.

Ye Dekh Kar Uska Bada Bacha Jealous Karne Lag Gaya.

Ek Rat Jab Uski Maa So Rahi Thhi To Usne Uski Breast Pe Zehar Laga Diya.